getting comfortable with being real

Expressing your authentic self is a topic I write much about in my space here. And while I’ve done quite a lot of work in this department on my own the last couple of years, I sometimes see examples of how I need to feel more comfortable about shining my true light. What is that statement…we teach what we need to learn?

My journey has shown me that it sometimes takes time to find the courage to show up and speak from your heart. By this I don’t mean just being honest with the words that fly out of your mouth. I’m talking about forging an alignment with your inner and outer expressions. It’s when who you are on the inside is what you represent on the outside; when there are no masks to remove or costumes to put on. You’re one hundred percent bona fide real.

Perhaps like me you’ve had the experience of playing a role that doesn’t really fit you. Maybe it did once, yet you’ve grown out of it over the years. Or maybe it never really fit you, but you played it anyway just because it seemed like the proper thing to do. And now as uncomfortable as it may feel, at least it is familiar. You’re confident that you will continue to be accepted so you don’t worry about what others are going to think. You’re experienced so you don’t have to push yourself out of your comfort zone too often. So you grab that worn coat and walk out the door, all the while thinking how you can’t wait to return so that you can hang it back up in the anticipation of just being yourself in the privacy of your own castle.

I spent 20 years building a reputation of being a skilled direct mail marketer. Then as I got into my forties I got uncomfortable with the realization that I was spending my days filling people’s mailboxes with offers to buy stuff. After all, I’m not exactly the material girl. And I finally got uncomfortable enough to quit. What I didn’t realize until afterwards was just how much I had hidden who I really was from the outside world. I was so inexperienced with showing up authentically that it took me well over a year to start speaking at depth publicly about my spiritual beliefs. I feel like I now have some sense of what it must be like to come out of the proverbial closet.

I got another taste of this as I just launched my work into the video arena. I couldn’t figure out why I was so darned uncomfortable watching myself on screen when it hit me. I was feeling vulnerable. There I was exposing myself in a new way for anyone to see. I found a lot of comfort in discovering what was up with me. I recognized that I was merely dealing with a learning curve. I needed to give myself time to adjust to showing up this way. It was just another new role. Just like getting over the stage fright I felt when I first officiated ceremonies or teaching my first few classes.

The key to feeling comfortable with being real is accepting first that what you want to show on the outside is the authentic expression of who you really are. It’s your soul wanting to sneak out of hiding. And just like everything else that you do for the first few times, it may seem uncomfortable and maybe even a bit challenging. Yet when you break through your learning curve you will experience the bliss that cannot be achieved anywhere else than through feeding your heart’s expression. That’s passion at its finest hour.

Is there something that you’ve been holding back in your heart? Is there something that you long to be or an understanding that you desire to share? Is there a habit that you wish to leave behind so that you can express a new way of being? If you’re holding back because showing up in a new way feels so uncomfortable, tell yourself that it won’t always feel that way. Love yourself like the baby who learned to crawl before you took your first upright steps. Where would you be now if you hadn’t tried?

Thanks for visiting. I’m wishing you an amazing life.

In peace and light,
Susan Hanshaw

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