answers await your confusion

“Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress.”

— Thomas Edison

I woke up this morning after a long, leisurely northern California holiday weekend wondering just how I would transition back into my work world. I love what I am doing, yet a part of me didn’t feel totally ready to let go of my vacation mode. Why can’t I just continue to play, I thought? I worked my way through my first cup of coffee and a shower when it hit me that I might find inspiration by focusing my attention on why I am here.

I sat at my desk and stared out the window at the trees rustling in the wind. I suddenly felt so alone in the world, like everyone else was out doing their thing and I just couldn’t get in touch with mine. I was feeling like I had one foot in the weekend and one easing its way back to work. Am I the only one feeling like this, I wondered.

I sat down to meditate, knowing that somehow I would be helped by going deep within and asking for some guidance. I sat there on the floor almost in desperation for an answer that would snap me out of my lost fog. What I wanted was some black and white directions on where exactly to place my energy today so that I can feel like I’m doing what I am supposed to be doing. Yet after sitting there for several minutes the only thing that came to me was the inspiration to just respond to the day from my heart. What came with this was the reminder that I am not just this physical being that enjoyed a weekend staining a backyard deck and sipping Chardonnay on a mountainside terrace. My expression is not just happening when I’m vacillating between having fun and being productive. The in-between time counts just as much. For it’s in those quiet times that enable us to listen to what is going on inside and take direction from there.

For me today what’s going on is that I’m feeling unsettled. I am feeling like there is more to what I need to be doing than I’ve yet allowed expression. I don’t know quite what it looks like, though, and to be honest, that bothers me. Yet the good thing with all of this is that I’ve got my own attention. There’s a reason I am bugged and I’m asking why because I’ve learned that answers won’t come unless I ask. Perhaps my answer will rise to the surface from within me. Or maybe I’ll get the answer through the voice of a friend with whom I share my discomfort. Or just maybe an opportunity will present myself that will feel oh so right.

I don’t like feeling this way. Yet I know that being tuned in to the fact that I am unsettled enables me to be totally open to whatever is to come next.

How are you feeling? Are there any confusions that are trying to call your attention? Trust your feelings. They’re there to tell you something.

Thanks for visiting.

Yours in the spirit of peace, light and inspiration,

Susan Hanshaw

2 thoughts on “answers await your confusion

  1. Hi Susan, I happened upon your site and love it. I notice that I”m having to live more and more in the moment to stay in my flow. I agree, -the in-between times become in the moment times. Frustrating but true! Thanks for your insights.

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