A Commitment to Reclaiming My Youth

jefferson starship

I celebrated Labor Day at the Sausalito Art Festival, where Jefferson Starship closed off the entertainment festivities for the weekend. While this particular festival is a world class art show, my boyfriend, Dean and I make our decision on what day we will attend by the music schedule.

As the day approached, I had been contemplating why the bands of my youth still held such appeal to me. While I looked around at the crowd today, many of whom were older than me, I got more in touch with the answer. The music is a part of our history.  As we gathered there in Sausalito, it was like we were reclaiming a part of our soul. For that one hour while the band played, my heart felt an elation beyond the every day. It touched the spirit of what I felt in my youth–optimism, hope, joy of life, and most of all, a connection to those around me. We had all experienced a lot of life since we first heard those lyrics, yet despite all the changes, somehow the music reminds us of who we once were.

The Lesson

As I sit here on the morning after, I still feel a hightened sense of peace and aliveness. This experience has inspired me to strive to bring all parts of myself into my daily life so that the most precious pieces can live on and continue to touch me.

Is 50 the New 30??

I’m not going to hide from it. I am turning 50 this year. A year and a half ago I attended my 30th high school reunion and reconnected with a number of people from my youth who are also turning 50 this year. Suddenly I’m noticing the statement, “50 is the new 30” being thrown around.  Hmm, I ponder. Is it true, or are we just fooling ourselves?

I’ve always believed that age is very much a state of mind, yet decorum and a dose of reality do come into play.  I have four beautiful mini skirts hanging in my closet that I can’t bear to part with, but I know will never again see the light (or dark) of day, at least on my body.  I can’t leave the house now without a pair of glasses because I can’t read a menu, ingredients on a label, or anything I might have to sign my name to without help. And the gray hair that I have inherited has made me recognize that I can choose to replace it with any color that I want.

If these are the biggest grievances I have about turning 50 (and they are!), then I consider myself pretty darn blessed. Although I still fit into and wear clothes I had long before I was 30, I’ve come to the conclusion that, at least for me, I don’t feel 30. And that’s a good thing.

Why 50 is better than 30:

  • I’ve come to value a nice man over a bad boy.
  • It’s no longer all about me.
  • I’ve come to prefer authenticity over sizzle.
  • I’m way comfortable with myself.
  • I cherish every moment with my parents.
  • I’ve come to value meaning over money.
  • I’m in touch with the fact that I’m not going to live forever.
  • I no longer care about what people think.
  • I think about how much I am blessed.
  • I’ve experienced some painful, challenging times and have come out stronger.
  • I’ve learned to trust myself.
  • I’ve taken some big risks and survived.
  • I’ve learned that being true to myself is more important than security.

Am I missing something in the “50 is the new 30” statement? If so, please enlighten me.

10 Life Lessons from My Dad on His 74th Birthday

Today is my father’s 74th birthday. I recognize how blessed I am to be able to share it with him, and I don’t want to wait until he’s gone to reflect on what I’ve learned from him. In no particular order:

  1. Give help without being asked.
  2. Hard work really does pay off.
  3. It is possible to create a new life in foreign land.
  4. You don’t have to hold a college degree to be intelligent and educated.
  5. Love is expressed by what you do, not what you say.
  6. Having someone you can count on is one of the greatest gifts in life.
  7. What’s inside is more important than what it looks like on the outside.
  8. A strong commitment will keep you going when the road gets rough.
  9. Don’t ever assume you know how a person will respond.
  10. Don’t take  your blessings for granted. Life can change in an instant.

49th Birthday Revelations

I turned 49 seventeen days ago and its impact has been settling in. I expected it to be a mellow landing, with a stronger thrust to hit with the big “50”. I guess I was wrong.

On the exterior, I feel great. Some of the workouts are harder than others, but nothing noticeable to even mention. It’s my interior that feels this one. I’m not going to live forever; in fact, I now see the precious value of the decades ahead. Part of me wishes that I could grab the past back just to gain more time. Yet the other part senses that the greatest jewels in life lie ahead.

My 30-Year High School Reunion: A Party for My Soul

I went to my 30-year high school reunion on Saturday night. Actually, I did much more than just go to the reunion. I was a part of the four-person committee that made it happen. So I had the privilege of greeting every person as they walked through the door. That in itself was an amazing experience. It set the tone for what I took away from this monumental event.

During the evening I talked with a number of people who had been classmates since kindergarten. I spent some longer chunks of time with women I’d been close with during our junior and senior high years. I chatted with some classmates that I don’t recall ever talking with in my youth. There were a couple of people with whom I exchanged a warm hug and that was all. We had a DJ, dancing, and karaoke, and it was a lot of fun. But to me, it was very sweet.

You see, I feel like I picked up some precious pieces of my life that I had somehow dropped along the journey through my adult life. I feel like I have rekindled the spark that remembers where I came from. I don’t know why that means so much to me at this point in my life, but I guess it does. Somehow I now feel like I can move forward again with a new fervor. I don’t understand intellectually, but I’ve surrendered to an instinct that I’ve just taken care of a need of my soul’s. And now in a funny way, I feel more complete.

hope: it’s never too late


www.sanctuaryforchange.com

It was one of those rare San Francisco squelching hot days where sanity suggested I wait until evening to head out for my run. In less than five minutes my feet had taken me past the neighborhood high school where graduation exercises were being held on the stadium grass. I could hear music playing. Looking closer I could see students in red robes in the periphery of the crowd. As I watched the scene I wanted to be a part of it, if only for a moment in time from the top of the hill.

I remember so vaguely wearing that robe on the night of high school graduation. I remember feeling sentimental about the chapter of my life that I was closing, the classmates and the memories that were being left behind. I remember the joy I felt in knowing that I would no longer HAVE to do anything, that my choices on how I would spend my time would now be my own. I remember feeling full of hope and anticipation for the life that was now fully in front of me.

As I looked down on that grassy field I wondered what those students in red were feeling. For a moment I felt envious, wishing I could feel that sense of hopeful anticipation and excitement about the unknown adventures that would lie ahead. But then I reminded myself that I could have that feeling every day if I choose to. The only thing that has really changed in the thirty years since I wore that robe is my understanding of life. And for that I am much better equipped to meet each day with a sense of hope. For now I know that the only thing standing in the way of my dreams is me.

I thank God for this awareness whenever I count my blessings. For when we acknowledge the unlimited love, abundance and opportunities that are available to us, we experience how brilliantly beautiful is the gift of life.

Thank you for visiting. I wish you an amazing journey.

Susan Hanshaw
susan@sanctuaryforchange.com