I may have mentioned here that I am working on a second book about spiritual vibration. I was writing today about love being an attribute of divine energy, and examples of some ways in which you can align with this attribute by being loving. This served as a reminder to me that being loving is a choice. As I reflected on my own behavior sometimes, and that which I sometimes encounter with others, it strikes me as odd at how frequently love is not the first choice.
I look at myself and wonder what motivates me to sometimes choose bitchiness over love when I know better. I caught myself in this very act just this morning when my boyfriend, Dean, who has recently become my business partner, was giving me his opinion about how I need to do a better job with something. Instead of taking it as constructive input, I allowed myself to get offended and acted on the desire to strike back. It was not pretty. I knew that I was behaving badly and I didn’t feel good about it. But it was like I had surrendered to the flow of the negative energy and couldn’t find the strength to stop it midstream. Luckily Dean did not blow his top, and I allowed myself to see the sanity in his response. I even allowed myself to see that he was right. How big of me.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this exchange all day, and the choices I always have in how I respond. I’ve been reminded that it truly is my desire to vibrate at a high frequency of love all the time. So I wonder if I can try to hold myself to a higher standard by telling myself that bad behavior is just not acceptable. After all, I have other things in my life that I consider taboo because they support how I want to be. So what’s the difference here? It’s just my perception that I shouldn’t expect myself to be loving all the time. I’ve changed many expectations of myself over the years, so I’m going to give this one a shot, too. I’ll let you know how it goes.
What expectations do you have that need updating?