What Do You Expect from Yourself?

I may have mentioned here that I am working on a second book about spiritual vibration. I was writing today about love being an attribute of divine energy, and examples of some ways in which you can align with this attribute by being loving. This served as a reminder to me that being loving is a choice. As I reflected on my own behavior sometimes, and that which I sometimes encounter with others, it strikes me as odd at how frequently love is not the first choice.

I look at myself and wonder what motivates me to sometimes choose bitchiness over love when I know better. I caught myself in this very act just this morning when my boyfriend, Dean, who has recently become my business partner, was giving me his opinion about how I need to do a better job with something. Instead of taking it as constructive input, I allowed myself to get offended and acted on the desire to strike back. It was not pretty. I knew that I was behaving badly and I didn’t feel good about it. But it was like I had surrendered to the flow of the negative energy and couldn’t find the strength to stop it midstream. Luckily Dean did not blow his top, and I allowed myself to see the sanity in his response. I even allowed myself to see that he was right. How big of me.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this exchange all day, and the choices I always have in how I respond. I’ve been reminded that it truly is my desire to vibrate at a high frequency of love all the time. So I wonder if I can try to hold myself to a higher standard by telling myself that bad behavior is just not acceptable. After all, I have other things in my life that I consider taboo because they support how I want to be. So what’s the difference here? It’s just my perception that I shouldn’t expect myself to be loving all the time. I’ve changed many expectations of myself over the years, so I’m going to give this one a shot, too. I’ll let you know how it goes.

What expectations do you have that need updating?

2 thoughts on “What Do You Expect from Yourself?

  1. Hi Susan,

    Interesting topic and very timely. When I teach and coach on leadership I do it around the concept of love, which is totally counter-cultural. The two just does not go hand in hand. Yet, they do.

    Our primal instinct is to react negatively, because this is what we has been conditioned to do. To act lovingly is as you say a choice that we have to make, but it is also creating a new habit; one that takes time.

    I love that you got that your energy was negative when you reacted to Dean, yet your primal kicked in. It’s a process and it takes time and we must be gentle with ourselves as we make the journey from reactionary to love.

    Thanks for the conversation. Peace, Carolyn

  2. Hi Carolyn,

    You bring up a great point about leadership and love being counter-cultural. We certainly see this illustrated in politics.

    Another question comes to mind now about expectations. Can we expect that this can ever change? Food for thought…

    Thanks for visiting and contributing.

    Warmly,
    Susan

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