“The mind can elect what it chooses to serve. The only limit put on its choice is that it cannot serve two masters.” — A Course in Miracles
In the fall of 2004 I was struggling with the realization that I was becoming miserable in my corporate management job. My heart had not been in it for at least a couple of years and I began to feel more pained by the growing sense of emptiness it left me with. I don’t recall if I saw any connection with this at the time, yet that fall I also felt called to read the bible for virtually the first time in my life. I became so fascinated with the life of Jesus that I rented nearly every DVD I could get my hands on to bring his story alive in my mind.
One day during my exploration process I received a revelation that I hadn’t bargained for. I came across this message that we cannot serve two masters at the same time. Yet the message I received was even more specific than that. I had been led to scripture which spoke about how man cannot serve money and serve God at the same time. That message hit me like a violent blow. Looking honestly at the choices I was making in my life, I saw clearly that money was my master. I felt like I had been cut off at my knees. I was very much in touch with an understanding that my real purpose in life is to inspire and teach, yet I continued to cling tightly on to the security the job represented. Then when I saw in black and white how I had made my life all about money, I couldn’t live with myself. I felt like I’d been caught selling my soul. I knew I’d have some major regrets if I didn’t do something about how I chose to use my precious time here. I put myself through another four months of this agony until one Monday in April when I’d finally had enough.
I don’t know about you, but I am certainly guilty of sweeping things under the carpet that I prefer not to face. You know what I mean; we can pretend it’s not there if we don’t acknowledge its existence. It’s easier to just not ask any questions when we don’t want to hear the real answers. Yet sometimes the bad ass truth is exactly what we need to bring us to our knees and light a fire under us.
So I invite you to take an honest look at the choices you are making in your life. What master are you serving? And how does your understanding of that make you feel? If suddenly you were to be told that your life is about to end, would you be at peace with yourself? Or would you be squirming with regret, wishing for a second chance? If you happen to be someone who would want a second chance, that’s a clue that your heart hasn’t yet felt its true expression. There is a lot of courage to be found in the faith that our hearts are wiser than our minds, and that we are best served by following them.