“In any situation in which you are uncertain, the first thing to consider is “What do I want to come of this?” — A Course in Miracles
My boyfriend, Dean, and I hosted a Mother’s Day gathering yesterday. My parents were expected to arrive at 3 so Dean took off to the city late morning to pick up beverages and hit the gym. He told me he’d be back by 1:30 to help me prepare. At 1:35 my cell phone rang and a frustrated Dean was on the other end. He was caught up in heavy San Francisco traffic and was just inching his way out of the city towards the Golden Gate Bridge. He apologized up and down, telling me that he had no idea the traffic would be so bad. He let me know not to expect him for a good chunk of time. Meanwhile, I’d been pushing the envelope with my own time management and was less than thrilled that I now had to pick up the tasks I’d planned on asking him to do. I was not a happy camper. Yet I knew it wasn’t Dean’s fault and the last thing I wanted to do with this man who does so much for me was pick a fight. So I decided to behave myself on the phone.
I was in the shower when I heard Dean drive up around 2:15. Then the noise of the screen door opening and closing assured me that he was out on the deck getting the furniture situated for the party. I finished up in the bathroom and went out to greet him. He seemed a bit nervous as if he didn’t know what kind of a mood he’d find me in. I let him know that I wasn’t mad and we both hurriedly went about our business. I went back to finish drying my hair when the thought hit me that I could use this little incident as an opportunity to show him how much I love him. I marched into the bedroom, tapped him on the back and told him how much I appreciated what he does for me. His anxious face relaxed into a warm glow as he thanked me before embracing me in a hug.
Every incident that touches your life provides an opportunity for you to decide what you would like the outcome to be. When stuff happens you have the choice to set a positive goal of what you want to happen so that you can focus your energies on things that will help to achieve the goal. If you don’t set a goal on the onset, you’re left going with the flow and then looking backwards after it has already happened. Here you totally lose touch with your ability to guide the flow in the direction you want it to go.
Yesterday the immature side of me was tempted first to respond to Dean’s lateness by getting pissy, yet thankfully I knew that would not lead me to the outcome I wanted, so I focused instead on what I thought could. The end result was peace and love, everything I could ask for.
Every moment presents you with the opportunity to aim for peace or love. By claiming your goal, the battle is half won.