The intense pain in my upper body finally drove me to make an appointment with urgent care. It was the day after my 65th birthday, whose special plans had been ruined because I hurt so much.

It was late afternoon when I walked into the empty waiting room. A young nurse quickly called me in for care. She took my vitals before a somewhat gruff female doctor arrived and began asking questions about my condition. The radiating pain I was experiencing was hard to describe. Yet what the doctor was discovering seemed more vital to her than the body pain I struggled to articulate.

The diagnosis that changed things

‘Has anyone ever told you that you have an irregular heartbeat?” she asked after some probing.

“Uh…no,” I replied.

She instructed me to put my shirt back on before we walked down the hall to a small room. I was about to be given an ECG. The doctor and nurse worked together as they taped electronic sensors to my body. Within minutes the ECG was taken and the doctor’s suspicion confirmed. I was told my heart was in a state of atrial fibrillation—AFib for short.

The doctor explained that my diagnosis put me at risk for a stroke or heart failure. She said that this was something I needed to take very seriously. She recommended that I go to an emergency room right away.

I called my husband who had been waiting for me in the parking lot down the street. We were both in shock. I thought I was a specimen of good health. I’ve had a regular workout routine my entire adult life. I stopped eating red meat when I was 20. I typically abstain from fatty and processed foods. My diet in general was more heart-healthy than anyone I knew.

We arrived at the closest hospital and I was given another ECG on the spot. The emergency room procedure confirmed the findings of urgent care. Yep. My heart was showing AFib. It was now just a matter of going through the next steps.

The sobering question

I bounced from specialist to specialist in my early hours in the hospital. It was not difficult to recognize that there was one common question. How much alcohol did I drink?

Oh, God.

Wine has been as much a part of my life as working out for as long as I can remember. I’ve lived the majority of my adult years a stone’s throw from the Napa Valley and Sonoma Valley wine regions. In my world, drinking wine was synonymous with socializing. It was an action I didn’t think twice about. And I surrounded myself with people who were on the same page.

Drinking wine had also become an at-home habit. It had become a ritual that would symbolize the winding down of the day. It was a practice started when I moved to San Francisco as a single woman in my late 20s. It’s one I held on to for nearly 40 years, and made more pronounced with the onset of COVID.

The drinking alcohol ritual has got to go

My irregular heartbeat was treated with medication while I was in the hospital. I was told to expect that I’d have a procedure called a cardioversion before I was released. This procedure is designed to correct a heartbeat that’s too fast or irregular. Mine was both. The cardiologist warned that the procedure comes with some risks.

On my fifth and final day, my exit ECG showed my heart back to a normal rhythm. The cardiologist happily told me that I would be released without the need for the cardioversion. I was relieved and took note. I recognized that there was one constant in the lab that was my hospital stay. No wine. I saw it as a sign that I can support a healthy heart if I stopped drinking alcohol.

Benefits I’ve experienced since quitting alcohol

Roughly four and a half months have passed. I’ve had two cardiologist visits and zero wine. My cardiologist tells me that any amount of alcohol can trigger the AFib. He doesn’t tell me not to drink. It’s a choice I’ve been making for myself.

During this time I’ve realized how pervasive alcohol is in our society. It seems that everywhere I go lies the encouragement to indulge. Happy hour sandwich signs in front of restaurants. Friends wanting to meet over a drink. TV shows with scenes of people enjoying a glass of wine or cocktail. It’s now the holiday season and I’m getting gifts in the form of wine or champagne.

Yet I can say with certainty that I feel better than I ever have. This rings true physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Sure, I have my momentary longings. But for the most part, quitting has been far easier than I’d ever anticipated. The benefits far outweigh any fleeting desires. Here are my top three.

1. No more anxiety

This product of not drinking alcohol has made the most positive impact on my quality of life. I had suffered from occasional panic attacks for years. Decades actually. The isolation period of COVID stoked their frequency and intensity. To the point where I grew afraid of getting hit with panic when I was alone.

I learned to pick up a shopping cart as a crutch to walk from my car to the grocery store. I grew to become very anxious driving on the freeway. So I set my driving directions app to avoid freeways. I would practically beg my husband to go on walks with me because I was afraid to go alone.

It never dawned on me that there was a link between alcohol consumption and anxiety. Did my wine drinking cause my anxiety? Or did my anxiety cause me to drink more? In any event, my experience is that there is a relationship between the two. Because I have now joyfully taken the freedom back that I had lost to my anxious days. I’ve been enjoying miles-long walks by myself and I’m back to being comfortable driving on the freeway. Even in the dark and rain. My world has reopened!

2. Better sleep quality

My ritual for going to bed has changed completely since I’ve stopped drinking alcohol. I no longer need to drink a glass of magnesium to relax. Instead I slip under the covers enjoying a read until heavy eyelids tell me it’s time to sleep. I’ll turn out the light and lay there knowing that I’ll soon be snuggling into a healthy sleep. I wake up feeling refreshed. It’s so much easier to get out of bed. I now pop out of bed before or when the alarm goes off. No more falling prey to the snooze alarm. One buzz max and I’m up!

3. Weight loss

This is my favorite, and frankly, one that is a daily inspiration to keep saying no to wine indulgences. I don’t weigh myself so I can’t tell you precisely how much weight I’ve lost. But I’d give you a guesstimate of 12 pounds. Jeans I haven’t fit into for a handful of years are now roomy in places. On the surface, all a result of skipping the wine.

For years I brushed away the idea that alcohol was purely empty calories destined to add unwanted pounds. After all, I was a runner for a couple of decades. My pounding the pavement played a big role in burning calories. When my body told me I should stop running in my late 50s, body fat began making its unwelcome appearance. I blamed it all on menopause. Now I recognize that alcohol calories are as real as chocolate cheesecake.

Are you thinking about giving sobriety a try?

Dry January. Sober October. These challenges are designed to encourage people to improve their health and regain control of their drinking. Honestly, a year ago I didn’t think I had the fortitude to endure a month-long break from alcohol. So I didn’t even try. Now look at me.

Disclaimer: I want to preface this section by recognizing that some alcohol habits are products of addictions. I am not an addiction specialist and these tips are not appropriate solutions for every situation. They are simply mindsets and behaviors that helped me to break what was a habit-based lifestyle.

If you’re thinking about putting your toe in the water I have these two tips to offer you:

1. It doesn’t have to be a forever commitment. You’re the boss. It’s up to you to decide when, if, and how alcohol will be a part of your life. It’s actually a great question for all of us.
2. Find substitutes you enjoy to pour into your wine or cocktail glass. For my wine substitute I have discovered the Thomson & Scott brand Noughty. The ABV (alcohol by volume) ranges from 0.0% to 0.5%. My favorite is the sparkling chardonnay at 0%. For regular beverage treats, I’ve found a ton of non-sugar healthy options. My top choices are Spindrift sparkling water and Zevia natural flavored soda.

Why does my experience matter?

My biggest takeaway has been that I am not bullet-proof. I no longer view practical health advice that I don’t want to heed and ignore it like it doesn’t apply. I’ve now been shown my mortality and it has lit a fire.

Deep down I knew that my wine drinking was not good for my health. I can’t tell you if I didn’t stop because I didn’t want to, or if I thought that I couldn’t. In any event, I’ve now proven that neither one of those excuses are actually true.

Is there a habit that you have that you know is not good for you but you continue to embrace? Can you identify what are the excuses and what are the actual truths?

I’m here if you need support.