Personal development

Breaking Misguided Beliefs: My Back Pain Story

/ Susan Hanshaw / Leave a comment

A young general practitioner pointed out the swayback curvature of my spine during a routine check-up. He said it may lead to back issues as I got older. I was 35 at the time and didn’t really appreciate that piece of data. Why worry about something that could be a possibility only years later? I was in the beginning throes of a painful divorce and was trying to entertain only positive thinking. Yet the seed from the doctor had been planted.

Should I look to my parents to guide my beliefs?

My parents both complained about back pain when they got older. My father suffered from chronic lower back pain. It was so bad that he was not able to stand fully upright once he approached his 80s. He started using a cane to walk before moving on to a rollator walker. I would catch my mother holding her hand against her back as if to protect it while she walked. Neither one of my two brothers ever mentioned back pain.

Accepting misguided beliefs without challenging them

I was 38 when I had anything resembling back pain. I had finished a 3-mile walk around a reservoir when I felt an angry tightness in my lower back. I held a couple of squatting poses to try to stretch my back, but the release was barely temporary. I wondered to myself if the back issue the doctor mentioned was now beginning.

Over the years I would come to have some back pain from time to time. But the incidents were always self-inflicted on my part. Sleeping on a bed with little or no spinal support. Having poor form while doing ab workouts with weights. Letting my hip flexors and hamstrings get so tight after indoor cycling that they caused strain on my lower back. Still, I was not aware that I had any control over the pain, so I didn’t try to challenge it. Episodes of soreness would then linger for days.

It’s hard to believe it took me so long to understand the connection between tight muscles and pain. It’s really no surprise, though. I never had the patience to stretch properly. Stretching bored me. Once my workout was done, I was always eager to move on with my day. I tended to rush through the stretching and stop the poses just as I hit a feeling of discomfort. So, I simply accepted the outcomes of my pathetic stretching habits.

Tight hamstrings ended my decades-long running pursuit. Whenever I set out to run in my late 50s, my hamstring would feel as if it were locking up. Sure, I tried to stretch that hamstring. But I did not do the research to learn how to stretch. Instead, I attributed it to aging and the misguided belief that there was nothing I could do to change it.

Breaking through those beliefs

This past year I developed a routine of indoor cycling 5-6 times a week for 50-60 minutes. During this time, I also became more consistent with my yoga practice. This helped me understand muscles are connected, and lower back pain could be caused by tight hamstrings and hip flexors.

How I broke through my beliefs about pain

I was doing more yoga, but not enough to resolve the mild lower back pain that would routinely hit me. Then one morning I was stretching after a 60-minute indoor cycle and caught myself flaking out on a hamstring stretch. Once I hit the point of what yoga instructors call “sensation”, I was ready to move on to avoid it. But this time I pushed myself a couple of extra minutes to get a thorough hamstring stretch.

I hadn’t given the stretching another thought until later that night. It suddenly dawned on me that I had absolutely no back pain. Zero. Nada. I knew right then that my often-nagging lower back pain was not old age setting in. Doing the work to stretch properly had enabled me to break through that belief. I was not destined to live with back pain.

I have had a few indoor cycle sessions followed by proper stretches since then. Still no lower back issues. Sure, I’ve felt a momentary tight spot here and there. But now I move my back in a way that feels restorative, and the tightness goes away.

My takeaway

For years I let the doctor’s warning define the expectations I had of my physical body. It took me awhile, but by finally listening to my body, I was led to the truth.

Listen to the truth comes which comes from within. Don’t give more authority to an external source that doesn’t know you like you know yourself.

What Happened When I Stopped Drinking Alcohol

/ Susan Hanshaw / Leave a comment

The intense pain in my upper body finally drove me to make an appointment with urgent care. It was the day after my 65th birthday, whose special plans had been ruined because I hurt so much.

It was late afternoon when I walked into the empty waiting room. A young nurse quickly called me in for care. She took my vitals before a somewhat gruff female doctor arrived and began asking questions about my condition. The radiating pain I was experiencing was hard to describe. Yet what the doctor was discovering seemed more vital to her than the body pain I struggled to articulate.

The diagnosis that changed things

‘Has anyone ever told you that you have an irregular heartbeat?” she asked after some probing.

“Uh…no,” I replied.

She instructed me to put my shirt back on before we walked down the hall to a small room. I was about to be given an ECG. The doctor and nurse worked together as they taped electronic sensors to my body. Within minutes the ECG was taken and the doctor’s suspicion confirmed. I was told my heart was in a state of atrial fibrillation—AFib for short.

The doctor explained that my diagnosis put me at risk for a stroke or heart failure. She said that this was something I needed to take very seriously. She recommended that I go to an emergency room right away.

I called my husband who had been waiting for me in the parking lot down the street. We were both in shock. I thought I was a specimen of good health. I’ve had a regular workout routine my entire adult life. I stopped eating red meat when I was 20. I typically abstain from fatty and processed foods. My diet in general was more heart-healthy than anyone I knew.

We arrived at the closest hospital and I was given another ECG on the spot. The emergency room procedure confirmed the findings of urgent care. Yep. My heart was showing AFib. It was now just a matter of going through the next steps.

The sobering question

I bounced from specialist to specialist in my early hours in the hospital. It was not difficult to recognize that there was one common question. How much alcohol did I drink?

Oh, God.

Wine has been as much a part of my life as working out for as long as I can remember. I’ve lived the majority of my adult years a stone’s throw from the Napa Valley and Sonoma Valley wine regions. In my world, drinking wine was synonymous with socializing. It was an action I didn’t think twice about. And I surrounded myself with people who were on the same page.

Drinking wine had also become an at-home habit. It had become a ritual that would symbolize the winding down of the day. It was a practice started when I moved to San Francisco as a single woman in my late 20s. It’s one I held on to for nearly 40 years, and made more pronounced with the onset of COVID.

The drinking alcohol ritual has got to go

My irregular heartbeat was treated with medication while I was in the hospital. I was told to expect that I’d have a procedure called a cardioversion before I was released. This procedure is designed to correct a heartbeat that’s too fast or irregular. Mine was both. The cardiologist warned that the procedure comes with some risks.

On my fifth and final day, my exit ECG showed my heart back to a normal rhythm. The cardiologist happily told me that I would be released without the need for the cardioversion. I was relieved and took note. I recognized that there was one constant in the lab that was my hospital stay. No wine. I saw it as a sign that I can support a healthy heart if I stopped drinking alcohol.

Benefits I’ve experienced since quitting alcohol

Roughly four and a half months have passed. I’ve had two cardiologist visits and zero wine. My cardiologist tells me that any amount of alcohol can trigger the AFib. He doesn’t tell me not to drink. It’s a choice I’ve been making for myself.

During this time I’ve realized how pervasive alcohol is in our society. It seems that everywhere I go lies the encouragement to indulge. Happy hour sandwich signs in front of restaurants. Friends wanting to meet over a drink. TV shows with scenes of people enjoying a glass of wine or cocktail. It’s now the holiday season and I’m getting gifts in the form of wine or champagne.

Yet I can say with certainty that I feel better than I ever have. This rings true physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Sure, I have my momentary longings. But for the most part, quitting has been far easier than I’d ever anticipated. The benefits far outweigh any fleeting desires. Here are my top three.

1. No more anxiety

This product of not drinking alcohol has made the most positive impact on my quality of life. I had suffered from occasional panic attacks for years. Decades actually. The isolation period of COVID stoked their frequency and intensity. To the point where I grew afraid of getting hit with panic when I was alone.

I learned to pick up a shopping cart as a crutch to walk from my car to the grocery store. I grew to become very anxious driving on the freeway. So I set my driving directions app to avoid freeways. I would practically beg my husband to go on walks with me because I was afraid to go alone.

It never dawned on me that there was a link between alcohol consumption and anxiety. Did my wine drinking cause my anxiety? Or did my anxiety cause me to drink more? In any event, my experience is that there is a relationship between the two. Because I have now joyfully taken the freedom back that I had lost to my anxious days. I’ve been enjoying miles-long walks by myself and I’m back to being comfortable driving on the freeway. Even in the dark and rain. My world has reopened!

2. Better sleep quality

My ritual for going to bed has changed completely since I’ve stopped drinking alcohol. I no longer need to drink a glass of magnesium to relax. Instead I slip under the covers enjoying a read until heavy eyelids tell me it’s time to sleep. I’ll turn out the light and lay there knowing that I’ll soon be snuggling into a healthy sleep. I wake up feeling refreshed. It’s so much easier to get out of bed. I now pop out of bed before or when the alarm goes off. No more falling prey to the snooze alarm. One buzz max and I’m up!

3. Weight loss

This is my favorite, and frankly, one that is a daily inspiration to keep saying no to wine indulgences. I don’t weigh myself so I can’t tell you precisely how much weight I’ve lost. But I’d give you a guesstimate of 12 pounds. Jeans I haven’t fit into for a handful of years are now roomy in places. On the surface, all a result of skipping the wine.

For years I brushed away the idea that alcohol was purely empty calories destined to add unwanted pounds. After all, I was a runner for a couple of decades. My pounding the pavement played a big role in burning calories. When my body told me I should stop running in my late 50s, body fat began making its unwelcome appearance. I blamed it all on menopause. Now I recognize that alcohol calories are as real as chocolate cheesecake.

Are you thinking about giving sobriety a try?

Dry January. Sober October. These challenges are designed to encourage people to improve their health and regain control of their drinking. Honestly, a year ago I didn’t think I had the fortitude to endure a month-long break from alcohol. So I didn’t even try. Now look at me.

Disclaimer: I want to preface this section by recognizing that some alcohol habits are products of addictions. I am not an addiction specialist and these tips are not appropriate solutions for every situation. They are simply mindsets and behaviors that helped me to break what was a habit-based lifestyle.

If you’re thinking about putting your toe in the water I have these two tips to offer you:

  1. It doesn’t have to be a forever commitment. You’re the boss. It’s up to you to decide when, if, and how alcohol will be a part of your life. It’s actually a great question for all of us.
  2. Find substitutes you enjoy to pour into your wine or cocktail glass. For my wine substitute I have discovered the Thomson & Scott brand Noughty. The ABV (alcohol by volume) ranges from 0.0% to 0.5%. My favorite is the sparkling chardonnay at 0%. For regular beverage treats, I’ve found a ton of non-sugar healthy options. My top choices are Spindrift sparkling water and Zevia natural flavored soda.

Why does my experience matter?

My biggest takeaway has been that I am not bullet-proof. I no longer view practical health advice that I don’t want to heed and ignore it like it doesn’t apply. I’ve now been shown my mortality and it has lit a fire.

Deep down I knew that my wine drinking was not good for my health. I can’t tell you if I didn’t stop because I didn’t want to, or if I thought that I couldn’t. In any event, I’ve now proven that neither one of those excuses are actually true.

Is there a habit that you have that you know is not good for you but you continue to embrace? Can you identify what are the excuses and what are the actual truths?

I’m here if you need support.

What Guitar Lessons Have Taught Me About Perseverance

/ Susan Hanshaw / 5 Comments

I started taking guitar lessons a couple of weeks ago. It has been a humbling experience. 

I am starting this journey at ground zero. The only other experience I’ve had with playing a musical instrument was when I took keyboard lessons on and off for a couple of years when I was in my late 20’s. My keyboard was inexpensive, and the sound quality didn’t inspire me to go deeper into it. Plus, I was distracted by other things going on in my life. So, I let it go. 

My husband is a big music fan and I bought him a guitar for his 60th birthday a couple of years ago. I made the purchase talking with a sales guy from a very popular instrument store locally. I knew virtually nothing about guitars. My husband has played the guitar a few times, yet says he hasn’t embraced it because the neck isn’t a good fit for his hands. It was about the same time recently that I started to think about possibly trying to learn to play it myself that my husband started encouraging me to give it a try. I’d been thinking a lot lately about not wanting to have any regrets at the end of my life so I decided to see what I can learn to do with a guitar. 

In my ignorance of guitars, I didn’t realize that the strings were metal and that my fingertips would hurt from pressing on the strings. After a couple of weeks of study, I am still working on gaining a clear understanding of what each note is supposed to sound like. In my effort to tune the guitar by ear the other day, I accidentally tightened the wrong string and suddenly it snapped off with a loud plunk. The string has been fixed and the guitar professionally tuned, so I am continuing on my learning journey. 

How I’m Persevering Outside My Comfort Zone 

I am definitely very far out of my comfort zone—a rare place for me to be. I’m someone who thrives on learning new things, and usually those new things come to me rather easily. Yet I recognize now that most of my new learning in recent years has involved digital platforms or other practices that are on an intellectual or physical fitness level.  I’m now working on developing a skill in the music realm which requires hand and finger coordination and a keen ear for sound—skills that I haven’t studied in decades, let alone practiced. 

I am finding that being a beginning guitar student is hard for me. Remembering where to position my fingers for each chord, learning how to move my fingers smoothly from chord to chord, and how to strum in a pleasing rhythm. Hey, I didn’t even know the difference between a chord and a note until I started this practice. Yet I’m not going to let myself bag out on learning just because it’s hard. That would be a regret I wouldn’t want to face. I recognize that practice will enable me to get better. I also know that putting my ego aside and giving myself permission to do something that I’m not yet good at will help me to persevere.  

Some thoughts that are helping me to stay committed: 

  • The initial pain in my fingertips is lessening as they get used to the practice 
  • It’s been helpful to explore different instructors that may be a better fit for my learning needs 
  • Acknowledge the progress that I’ve made rather than focusing on what I cannot yet do 
  • Seeing myself as a person who plays the guitar and creating visions for what that may look like as I get better 

If you have a similar experience in stepping out of your comfort zone, I’d love to hear your comments. 

Losing My Dependency on the Gym

/ Susan Hanshaw / 1 Comment

Last Saturday morning I woke up at 7:25 without an alarm feeling no pressing need to meet any early morning commitment. As I took joy in the opportunity to linger in bed, I acknowledged the freedom that the COVID-19 pandemic had provided in releasing me of my dependency on the gym.

I signed up for my first gym membership when I was 31. That was 30 years ago. Working out has been a top priority my entire adult life. I was overweight in my youth and I attribute my values towards fitness to that experience and its impact on the self-esteem I felt lost when I didn’t feel good about myself.

The Gym Shutdown

As a gym goer, I would literally design my life schedule around the fitness classes I wanted to attend. I never thought this was ideal, but it was what it was.

My last visit to the gym was Friday, March 13, 2020. After my workout I had an exchange with a young woman in the locker room who attended the Tuesday evening core class that I took. She was flying to Las Vegas to spend the weekend with her boyfriend. She acknowledged the COVID-19 concerns that were becoming more pronounced, but she decided to go anyway. I completely understood.

The following Monday morning I received an email from the gym announcing that the facility was shutting down temporarily due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

I wasn’t surprised, yet I freaked out from this news. I wondered how I was going to be able to maintain my fitness goals without the gym. Even in Northern California the weather wasn’t inviting enough to look forward to a walk in the hills around my home.

My New Fitness Beginning

The following day I dived into spin bike research mode on Amazon. California was ahead of the lock-down curve in the United States, so time was on my side with regards to inventory. The spin bike I ordered was delivered on Friday, March 20th. My husband Dean and I worked together to assemble the bike, which made its maiden voyage that weekend.

The bike has a holder which cradles my iPad and a bar where I lodge my phone to track the time.  At first, I would watch spin classes on YouTube and then it occurred to me that I could consume any kind of content while I was spinning. I’ve read books, caught up on the news, checked the weather forecasts, and watched many interesting interviews and motivational videos while on that bike. It has become a routine I relish between 20 and 45 minutes six mornings a week.

A few weeks into my home workout regime I realized that my 2.5- and 5-pound dumbbells were no longer challenging enough so the hunt began for heavier weights. I would search online over the course of weeks to find a set, but inventory was nowhere to be found. Some two months later Dean came home with a pair of 8 pounders for me that he discovered while shopping at the big discount retail store in our city. A few weeks later I finally scored a pair of 10-pound dumbbells online.

When I was going to the gym the heaviest weights I would take on were 6 pounds. For shoulder work I would go for 4 or 5 pounds. Most of my lifting now is at 10 pounds and 8 for shoulder work. I can now pretty easily hoist a 35-pack of 16-ounce water bottles into a shopping cart.

In the Rear-View Mirror

I got an email from the gym I belonged to a few months ago inviting me to reinstate my membership. The decision was a no-brainer. I had managed to become stronger physically on my own. I discovered that I could do whatever workout I wanted on my own schedule. I feel like I took my life back while saving the cost of the membership.

As I look at this decision now from a place further in the rear-view mirror, I recognize that COVID-19 enabled me to shed a piece of my persona that I came to discover no longer fit. I no longer needed to associate being fit with belonging to a gym.

It has been a great revelation to discover that I can be great on my own.

Learning to Cope with Panic Attacks

/ Susan Hanshaw / 1 Comment

Last Saturday my husband Dean and I took a drive to visit a grocery store 22 miles from our home. It may sound crazy to drive so far, grocery shopping has become an outlet for enjoyment during COVID. Dean has a pre-existing condition, so we have been extremely cautious during this pandemic. Until we both have been vaccinated our joys will continue to come from simple pleasures.

It was a lovely day, yet it was difficult for me to relax and fully enjoy the ride. I was uptight. My body and mind were feeling uncomfortably anxious.

My Introduction to Panic Attacks

I was 30 when I experienced my first panic attack. I had recently moved to Boston from my native San Francisco. It was my second coast to coast move across the United States as an adult. I had no family or personal friends there yet. I was simply there for the job.

The panic attack hit me on a Sunday afternoon in early winter. I had set out to explore on a Greater Boston freeway that I had not yet become familiar with. There was no snow on the roads. It was just cold.

I do not recall feeling nervous about the drive. With a job that required business travel, I had grown comfortable being in unfamiliar territory on my own. Yet suddenly, a sensation came over me that I’d never felt before. My heart began pounding, my hands were sweating, and a sense of fear overtook me. I thought I was having a heart attack. I was afraid that I was going to die. I exited the freeway as soon as possible, finding my way back to my suburban apartment by back roads. I felt defeated but grateful to have endured a scary, unexpected time.

I have experienced these kinds of episodes on and off over the last three decades. I have gone years without a panic attack and have had years that were fraught with episodes. I have even had a handful that have landed me in a hospital emergency unit.

Solutions for Coping

I shared with Dean the anxiety that I was struggling with on the ride back home from the grocery store. He suggested that I consider starting to run again to release some of my anxiety. I had been a runner for 25 years until pain and injuries ended that chapter three years ago. I would do the elliptical machine at the gym until COVID led me to cancel my gym membership. I’ve been riding a spin bike regularly at home, but admittedly not pushing myself to elevate my heart rate.

The day after the grocery store trip I ventured to the high school track a mile away. I discovered that the track was not open to the public, so I cautiously jogged back home on the sidewalk.

I had forgotten what it felt like to be truly winded. My heart rate had not been elevated to that level in a year. When I got home, I felt happy and relaxed. The air of depression that had been hanging over me had lifted. That experience paved the way for me to learn how to better manage anxiety. I’ve since been pushing myself more on my spin bike as I await the delivery of new running shoes.

I believe that our thoughts are the driving force behind our experiences, making my issue with anxiety a challenge. I know how difficult it can be to stop the avalanche of fear during a panic attack. How do you bring yourself back to a sense of calm?

6 Tips for Anxiety Management

I am not a mental health professional nor have I had any formal training in anxiety. I simply want to share concepts that have helped me to better manage the impact of panic attacks.

  1. Identify that what you are experiencing is a panic attack which you have experienced and lived through before
  2. Acknowledge your power to control the sensations through deep breathing in the moments
  3. Keep telling yourself that you are going to be okay
  4. Minimize your caffeine intake
  5. Keep your body hydrated
  6. Identify a spiritual or human connection that you can call upon during times of need to calm your fears

Why I Share About Anxiety

I write about my anxiety because I want to remind others who deal with it that you are not alone. None of us is perfect in all ways. I like to think there’s a reason why I’m challenged with anxiety that is an asset to my greater being. And I think the same is true for you.

Please reach out if it this topic speaks to you. I would love to learn from you.

Are the Routines of Your Life Working For You?

/ Susan Hanshaw / Leave a comment

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in my life is that challenging times are actually opportunities that can lead me to thrive in ways I would have never undertaken on my own.

Twenty-five years ago, I was in a marriage in which my husband left me for another woman. I felt like the framework of my life had been ripped out from underneath me. My need to overcome my pain led me to study teachings that I would never have explored on my own. I’ve come to recognize that this experience laid the foundation for philosophies which now govern my life.

The Organic Necessity of Change

There is no doubt that we are living in tough times. We have all been sacrificing things which typically provide us with a sense of physical safety, financial security, and overall pleasure. Yet there is a great opportunity here to approach things differently. So often we keep on trying to force something to happen in the same old ways, without considering that perhaps it’s not working because it is no longer meant to be. It no longer fits who we are right now.

Eggs, milk and yogurt are not the only things in life that have expiration dates. Who we are ages and changes as well. What we value changes as a result of every new day of experience. To expect that we will feel the same level of fulfillment by keeping our routines steady for long periods of time is unrealistic and a recipe for unhappiness. We must listen more closely to our soul.

Questions to Ask Yourself

I am welcoming this as a time to ask myself the question of what’s working for me and what’s not. It’s made me realize how my experience of life is not made in one wide swoop, but rather a tapestry of decisions involving minutia ranging from where I feel safe shopping to who enriches my emotional joy to what work fulfills me to when, where and how I work out.

You know how we are frequently being asked by businesses to complete a survey about our satisfaction of their service? How about asking ourselves how fulfilled we are with the routines we have established for our life?

Please stay well.

Susan

My Biggest Lesson of the Covid-19 Pandemic

/ Susan Hanshaw / 1 Comment

I have been a slave to the gym for the past 25 years. Although I was a runner for most of that time, I always kept a gym membership as a support system during cool and rainy weather.

I don’t like to admit it, but my gym schedule ruled my life. I was a class-goer for the most part, so my favorite classes defined the hours I was available to participate in other social or business activities. The last few months before the lockdown I would be hard pressed to consider any invitation that would take me away from Nick’s 6 PM spin class or Chris’s Thursday 5:30 PM core class. You might think this is crazy, but it was my truth.

Although I prided myself on my 4 to 5 day a week dedication, I would often wonder what my life would be like if I could take back all the time I spent at the gym. Yet because staying fit is so important to me I never considered there could be an option to the gym.

On March 16, 2020 that belief began to change when I received an email from the owner of my gym that it would be closing for the next 3 weeks due to the Covid-19 pandemic. That 3-week projection has now morphed into ten week as I write this.

My Gym Withdrawl

For the first few days I was miserable. If you’re someone who works out frequently, then you can relate to the feeling that your muscles are begging for a workout. Parts of my body began to feel sluggish and I wasn’t happy with that at all. I didn’t feel like me.

Luckily my husband and I jumped on the idea to buy a spin bike before the rest of America was shut down. Three days later almighty Amazon delivered the box that I didn’t realize at the time would play a big role in changing my life.

During the days that led up to the bike’s arrival I started exploring fitness channels on YouTube. I had been a follower of Yoga with Adriene for some months, yet it never occurred to me that I could fulfill my weight training and ab workouts through videos as well.

Over the next few weeks I discovered Maddie Lymburner from MadFit, Amy Jo Palmquest from Athlean-XX for Women, and other inspiring women who have become my new personal trainers. They have given me a better workout in an intense 15-20 minute session than a 50-minute class at the gym.

How My Life Has Changed for the Better

I should start out by saying that I’m super blessed to not be one of the tens of millions of healthy Americans to be without work right now. I experienced that in 2008 and I understand the stress of the uncertainty of times.

One thing that comes up for me as a result is knowing that I’ve lived through some tough times and have survived. It’s given me faith. We will get through this and perhaps even come through stronger on the other side if we are able to look at the gifts that have come out of the challenges.

For me now in the midst of Covid-19, I am grateful that my family and I are healthy. I cherish the company of my husband. The Shelter at Home order has led me to design my life from a perspective that is totally under my control within that order.

No pressures to be anywhere/do anything that is beyond my home. I have found it very freeing to get in touch with what I really enjoy and need to thrive. I feel happier! Life is simpler.

I like not being a slave to the gym.’ I feel like I’ve taken my life back. I can ride the bike whenever I want. The weather has warmed up and my husband and I have been taking some great walks in the hills around our neighborhood. And the YouTube videos have become a new ritual that I look forward to every evening.

The Lesson for Me

I think the main lesson for me has been to explore anything that feels uncomfortable in my life. I began wondering years ago what life would be like if I didn’t spend hours of my life every week at the gym. But I never looked beyond the ponder.

The universe delivered a situation that forced me to look at the question. I am grateful for the opportunity to discover a new truth that I had been unable to get to when left to my own devices.

Coronavirus Spiritual Correction

/ Susan Hanshaw / Leave a comment

It’s been a week now since the San Francisco Bay Area in which I live was put on a shelter-at-home order. While not all states have yet followed, communications I have had with colleagues and friends throughout the country confirm that this crisis has hit us all at our core in a way we’ve never experienced. But as scary, inconvenient and uncomfortable as it may feel right now, I sense that this may be good for us spiritually. Maybe, like a stock market crash facilitates a “correction” in financial markets, we’ve been led to a spiritual correction that we didn’t realize we needed.

I run a marketing agency and get emails from a plethora of individuals and organizations every day. What has struck me this past week as I’ve been working from home is that we are now communicating from a place of heart. I have felt that the business of the day has temporarily fallen in priority to connect at the human level first. The vast majority of the emails I’ve received and send acknowledge the understanding that we are living in unprecedented times. We express hope that each other’s loved ones and teams remain healthy. And we repeatedly remind each other that we are all in this together. We will get through this.

Communication right now begs for an acknowledgement of the truth about what we are facing. To not acknowledge the emotional fragility that abounds now with those we engage with seems insensitive and cold. Perhaps that’s one of the purposes of this crisis—to bring us back to a place where we feel our unity and express genuine care for each other.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

Wherever you are, please be safe and be well.

3 Simple Steps for Happiness

/ Susan Hanshaw / Leave a comment

I have been noticing lately that I feel an intense admiration for people who have a passion for something, and then create a successful life that is an expression of that passion. It’s not that this is a new respect that I have. I’d describe it as more of a shift in my focus. In the past I would be focused more on honoring someone’s work. I’ve gotten in touch with the fact that I now honor the person because they have succeeded in bringing their passion to a level of success.

1. Get in Touch with What You Honor

I recognize that what I honor in others is what I want for myself. This is a huge life compass, especially for someone like me who is beginning to see that there is a limit to the time I have here on this earth.

2. Understand What is Driving You

I am someone who is driven by the need for financial security. I guess I equate it with freedom. I started working at a movie theater at age 14 because I wanted to have the freedom to buy clothes on my own dime. I changed college majors from psychology to business once I started looking at the job opportunities and pay scales in the newspaper want ads. The job choices I made through my marketing career were usually driven by compensation.

Seemed wise at the time, but now I can see how empty this can leave your soul, and its desire to be who it wants to be. I am convinced that alignment with our soul’s desires is the key to happiness. How can I be happy if I am faking who I am and ignoring what I really want to be?

3. The Recipe to Happiness

Pay attention to your feelings. Honor them. Take direction from them. Give them some kind of outlet in your life. Don’t have any expectations, yet see where they take you.

Give yourself the opportunity to be you, one step at a time.

Are You Living The Legacy You Wish To Leave Behind?

/ Susan Hanshaw / Leave a comment

Yesterday my husband and I were doing some gardening out on our back deck when my neighbor of 20 years came out to ask what we knew about the schedule for our upcoming roof replacement, a current project in our waterfront condominium community. We haven’t seen much of Perry, 78, lately, so it was nice to have an opportunity to chat with him.

When we finished discussing the community business, Perry complemented us on the  flower beautification project we were in the midst of and shared that he hadn’t had the energy for gardening lately.  He went on to tell us that he hadn’t been well, and that he had cancer of the stomach… a terminal diagnosis.

What do you say to someone you’ve known over a fence for 20 years who tells you they’ve been told they have 4 – 10 months to live? How do you communicate to them that you’re deeply sorry, that the news has shaken you, and that there is something you wish you could do to help turn things around?

How does the prospect of loss impact how you look at your own life?

Over the past year cancer has been hitting close to my home in far greater instances than ever. I lost a dear uncle and a beloved cat. My father was diagnosed with Stage 1 throat cancer and completed radiation treatments. Two other good friends have undergone or are in the process of chemotherapy for lymphoma. My naively optimistic view of my own longevity is beginning to shudder.

My neighbor sharing his diagnosis has invoked a wake-up call for me.  How can I assume that my healthy life will continue through old age? What do I want my legacy to be? What do I need to do to push that legacy forward?

The commitment to your legacy

What’s come up for me in the last 24 hours is that I need to make a commitment to the legacy I wish to leave behind. And that means I need to commit time to it, to make it a greater priority than the other things I do to “entertain” myself outside of my day job. I know that it is doable because I’ve done it tonight. I’ve shared this with you.