I spent this past weekend celebrating my fiancé’s belated birthday in San Francisco. Living within 10 miles of the city it’s not unusual for us to spend a night in town. Yet what was lusciously different for us this time was that we chose a completely different neighborhood in which to hang out. This time we stayed in Japantown.
I’m a native San Franciscan and have lived a majority of my life in the Bay Area, yet I’m embarrassed to say that I have never stepped foot in Japantown until this weekend. It reminded me of how getting out of my ruts always leads me to look at life with a fresh pair of eyes.
This weekend I realized how important it is to focus on what I have been able to create in my life instead of where I am lagging behind in where I want to be. It’s so easy for me to fall into the trap of thinking that my business isn’t doing this or that while totally losing sight of how blessed I am to have a business that enables me to spend every day working with my fiance and very best friend. My instincts tell me this will be far more important as I reflect back on my life at its end than my client list and annual revenues.
Thoughts Taking Form
Be careful what you ask for. I went to Maui for the first time in the summer of 2002 for a retreat with best-selling inspirational author Alan Cohen. One of the memorable exercises for me was describing to a partner what an ideal day would look like. I found myself sharing something that I’d never given deep thought to yet it felt right at the time. I shared that I’d love to have a business that my significant other was a part of. I was single at the time working in a corporate job and partnership had eluded me for several years. So this idea seemed like a pipe-dream that I never expected would come to fruition.
I met Dean five years later and when his business came to a fork I seized the opportunity to ask him to join me in mine.
This weekend I was reminded of how powerful it is to be aware of desires that you have that may not be a part of your daily consciousness. You have to be in touch with what you want before you can reach out to claim what you want when the opportunities present themselves.
Is there something that you wish to achieve or create in your life, yet you lack the confidence in yourself to follow through? Here are some tips for staying relentlessly focused on your goal.
- Break your goal into executable steps.
- Recognize that the key to achieving your goals is following through with the necessary steps.
- Assign a schedule for each step and commit it to your calendar.
- Use your calendar as your “to do” list. If you can’t get to a step on the scheduled date, reschedule it. Keep the step on your calendar until its completion.
- If you are feeling resistance to following through with a particular step, get in touch with the belief that is in your way.
- Replace the limiting belief with an idea that empowers you to move forward. Get inspired from someone who believes in you.
- Hold yourself responsible for the life you create. Don’t allow room for regrets!
I was overweight throughout grammar school and up until my second year of college. I grew up seeing myself as an overweight person. After numerous failed diets throughout the years, it became a stretch for me to consider that I would ever be anything but overweight. One morning when I was 19, I got out of bed anticipating a party that I was going to that night. I realized that I was sick of being overweight. I decided that I was willing to do what it took to change my weight. I took one day at a time, making healthy choices and changing the way I ate. Within a few months I dropped 40 pounds and changed my lifestyle forever. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was following the key to success in creating any change.
7 Steps to Successfully Create Change:
- Declare that you are no longer willing to tolerate a particular habit or way of being.
- Identify the specific things you need to do differently to change.
- Acknowledge that you are in complete control of your actions.
- Recognize the process of change as being day by day.
- Commit to making the desired actions for that particular day.
- If you fall down, forgive yourself and start fresh.
- At the end of each day, honor your ability to make the choice you want and create the change you desire.
I delivered the pdf file for my upcoming book, Inner Architect: How to Build the Life You Were Designed to Live, to the printer this past Thursday. On Friday afternoon something incredible hit me. I am in the process of bringing life to my dream! Holy cow. Why did it take me so long to see clearly what is right in front of me? What was I thinking to expect that one single event would bring my dream to life? It really is all about baby steps.
Three years ago this month, I walked away from a successful 20-year career in the corporate world to follow a dream. It hasn’t been an easy journey, that’s for sure, and I’ve got a ways to go. But I can see now that I am on my way.
Your way to your dream can be found in these steps:
- Recognize that you have the choice to create a different life.
- Believe that it is possible to successfully build your dream.
- Define the obstacles that are holding you back.
- Replace your obstacles with ideas that support you.
- Give credibility to the desires of your heart and learn to trust it.
- Outline your training and development needs.
- Crystallize your vision.
- Identify your major goals.
- Define the steps necessary to achieve your goals.
- Stay committed to doing the necessary work.
- Support your external work with thoughts that help to build it.
- See yourself now in the beginning stages of your new life.
Worry is nothing more than holding mental pictures of things you do not want.
–from I Can, by Ben Sweetland
I found this passage yesterday in the very first self-help book I ever bought. I can’t remember when or where I got my copy of I Can. All I know is that it is the 1978 edition of the book originally copyrighted in 1953.
The memory of this book came to me as I was thinking about my dreams for my work life and fighting the doubts that were darting through my mind. It was as if I was wrestling with what I knew I believed about my own potential and possibilities intellectually versus the doubtful thinking that seems to come so naturally. I really do believe I can do or be anything. But why does it have to be so hard fighting off the demons trying to tell me otherwise?
Can you relate?
Something that my hairdresser, George, said to me very casually yesterday has stuck with me. George asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I replied by saying that all I wanted was for my new business, innerarchitect, to be a success in the New Year. I then threw the same question back at George. He replied quickly that he just wanted his health. You see, George has recently been diagnosed with Lymphoma. He continued on saying that he has everything he needs and then finished with a statement so simple, yet one that speaks to the truth of life:
It doesn’t matter what you got.
All that matters is what you gave.
Thank you, George. May healthy cells populate your glands.
Here’s to the true spirit of the holidays.
Peace, joy and love
I woke up this morning to face one of the lessons that I often teach. I had a conflict last night with someone I recently did business with and the experience stayed with me up until the time I went to sleep. I figured it would be one of those experiences which would be a forgotten memory in the dawn of a new day. But, oh, I was wrong. My waking consciousness brought me right back to the previous night’s events.
Intellectually I knew that I was the boss of my own thoughts, and that if I didn’t like the scene I was focusing on, I could change it. Somehow, though, I was struggling with this one. And now, looking back, I can see why. I was telling myself to stop thinking about the conflict, but I hadn’t chosen a more favorable thought to energize.
I rolled over to face my boyfriend, Dean, laying next to me in bed. I began to think about the wonderful man that he is and how much I love him. As I focused my energy on love, I noticed that the conflict had departed my consciousness and hasn’t returned since. What a great lesson. Love really is the answer. Think about it.
Throughout the history of civilization, Genesis, the first book of the Old Testament, has provided humankind with an account that explains the beginning of the world. This is a story which proclaims that a divine energy created the universe in perfect order, culminating in the creation of human life. It is said that human beings have been created in the likeness of this divine energy as a means for the divine to express itself, love and the purpose behind life.
While many of us have incorporated this historical account as our personal belief, it is rare that we embrace the implications of a divine force behind all of creation. We may accept being labeled as a child of the divine, yet we often fail to appreciate what that means on a practical level. How often do you probe what is meant by the statement that you were created in the likeness of the divine? I know that for the longest time, I considered this relationship from purely a physical perspective. I naively focused that likeness as being attached to a physical body, without giving a thought to what this could imply on a deeper level. It was through my study of A Course in Miracles that I began to entertain the idea that my mind is an extension of divine energy. I am not alone in this relationship. Your mind is an extension of the divine, too.
The implications of this understanding are huge. It means that your mind is not simply your own, rather it is a channel that you share with divine energy. Consider the significance of your thoughts if you accept that they hold divine power. Divine energy is the creative source behind the Law of Attraction, yet many people lack the awareness to see it this way. Think about the shift you make energetically through the belief that you hold divine power. The Law of Attraction can then work not like a black box that you are personally disassociated with, but as an energy that you are a part of. Embracing this concept provides you with the opportunity to take ownership of the power that you have.
One day just shy of twelve and a half years ago, I discovered that the man I was married to was involved with another woman. That evening, after I told him what I’d learned, he replied by telling me that he wanted out of the marriage. He left me that night, only to return several weeks later to pick up his things. I don’t know which was harder to deal with, suddenly feeling alone in the world, or the pain of the betrayal. The days that followed were the darkest that I’ve yet to endure, yet despite how badly I was hurting, I just knew that there was a reason for what I was experiencing. It was to bring me here, where I am today.
I’ve learned a lot from that experience. And as strange as this may sound, I am grateful for it. I’ve learned about forgiveness, and the depths of my strength. But the most valuable gift that has come with it is my faith in life. I’ve come to believe that nothing is a random event. I look at every moment as an opportunity of destiny, to which I’ve been given a choice in how I will respond. That’s how we create our lives, moment by moment.
Stop for a minute and think about what it is that you want from your life. Then make the choice that you will experience that. Remember that you are free in every single moment to believe whatever you want to believe about anything. The only thing stopping you from seeing the beauty is your choice to see it that way. The only thing standing in the way of you and your dreams is you making the choice to believe that they have a chance in coming true. So why not choose to believe magnificent things about your life, and just do it?
There is no mistaking the fact that no living human being thoroughly understands this energy that we call the Divine. It’s a mystery of life that most of us acknowledge plays a significant role in the creation of life, yet it is a power that we tend to ignore in our day-to-day existence. Most of us tend to disregard this power because we see it as something outside of ourselves. Yet if we look closely at what we have been able to discern about Divine energy, we can begin to understand that it is a powerful force that we can work with to influence and shape our lives.
Divine energy is the essence behind all of life. While we may consider that all of creation stems from Divine energy, we commonly attach the relationship between Divine energy and life creation to a historical or religious framework that we disassociate as having pertinence in our everyday lives. It’s as though unconsciously, we’ve accepted the belief that the evolution of time has diluted the energy through which our earliest of ancestors were created from.
We may call ourselves children of the Divine, yet many of us fail to appreciate what that means from a practical level. We often forget that we are expressions of Divine energy, that we are Divine creators in our own right and that we create through our thoughts. Looking at the relationship between Divine energy and thought from this perspective provides a deeper ground from which you can employ the Law of Attraction.
If there is something that you wish to create in your life, but find yourself falling down for whatever reason, remind yourself that you are an expression of this God energy. Do you really believe that the power of God is greater than your obstacles? Then acknowledge that power within you and let it get to work.