The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself: It’s Free, Too!

I got knocked down today. A proposal of mine was rejected by someone who I thought was very interested in helping me to bring the project to the next level. As I passed through my various emotions that followed, I recognized that I was at a crossroad. I could choose what had been my most natural response for as long as I can remember, to cry and feel sorry for myself, or I could take it like a big girl who knows better. And while I was so firmly centered in the belief that what had happened was for the best, it felt weird to actually be a witness to my own growth. It felt like I was supposed to cry simply to act out my disappointment. I did finally succumb to my old behavior for about five minutes, yet I felt like I was doing it for the spirit of the old days. It didn’t feel right. I had moved on.

Two years ago, I would have let at least half my day be destroyed as I wallowed in my disappointment. Today I was able to see the perfection within a few minutes of receiving the news. As I reflect back on how I have arrived where I am, once again I see the same thing. I’ve come to totally trust the wisdom of the flow of life. And it feels a lot more peaceful than banging my head against the wall, crying over something that is completely out of my control. What a gift.

6 thoughts on “The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself: It’s Free, Too!

  1. Hi Susan,

    Congratulations on your growth and your recognition of how you have moved on. I hope it feels rewarding for you to realise how much you have progressed on your life journey.

    It was not you who got knocked down, however.

    It was your proposal that got knocked down, not you. The other person was not rejecting you, they rejected your proposal. They may have had their reasons for this and those reasons may not be a reflection on your proposal but possibly an indication of that person’s own agenda.

    I hope you feel able enough to re-approach the person with a view to discovering that other person’s agenda. You never know, you may still have areas of mutual interest.

    Thank you very much for this insightful, heart-felt and thought provoking post

    John

  2. Hi John,

    Thank you for the reminder that what felt like a rejection was not personal. I knew this intellectually, yet I had worked so long and hard on the proposal that it somehow felt like an extension of me.

    I was given reasons for the decision, and although it was not what I wanted to hear, the information has enabled me to know how I need to tweak things to make the project itself more impacting. So that is all good.

    Thank you so much for visiting and sharing.

    Susan

  3. Susan, what a lovely noticing you’ve done. Your past self is giving way to your current self, and you’ve noticed the difference. Imagine all the times we change in subtle ways and are not even aware until someone else reflects it for us. You’ve become your own witness!

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