I got knocked down today. A proposal of mine was rejected by someone who I thought was very interested in helping me to bring the project to the next level. As I passed through my various emotions that followed, I recognized that I was at a crossroad. I could choose what had been my most natural response for as long as I can remember, to cry and feel sorry for myself, or I could take it like a big girl who knows better. And while I was so firmly centered in the belief that what had happened was for the best, it felt weird to actually be a witness to my own growth. It felt like I was supposed to cry simply to act out my disappointment. I did finally succumb to my old behavior for about five minutes, yet I felt like I was doing it for the spirit of the old days. It didn’t feel right. I had moved on.
Two years ago, I would have let at least half my day be destroyed as I wallowed in my disappointment. Today I was able to see the perfection within a few minutes of receiving the news. As I reflect back on how I have arrived where I am, once again I see the same thing. I’ve come to totally trust the wisdom of the flow of life. And it feels a lot more peaceful than banging my head against the wall, crying over something that is completely out of my control. What a gift.